Pokemon 101
by GeorgieLovesYou
Summary: Decided to make this a series of one-shots taking the crap from Pokemon randomness! Yay! Rated T - watch out for language! To do: Gym Leaders 101, Elite 4 Walkthrough and the Victory Road FAQ!


_**Catching Pokemon For Dummies ~ by GeorgieLovesYou**_

_**This is possibly the most rushed little one-shot I've ever written.**_

_**What absolute... shiz. **_

_**R&R anyway?  
**_

_**A POKEMON FIC OH YEAHZ!  
I 3 POKEMON!  
~gottacatcemallguys~**_

_**I did it because Jaz said she didn't know what a Dusk Ball was.**_

_**JAZ: Dusk...ball?**_

_**EM: Yes, Jazzy.**_

_**ME: You've never heard of a DUSK BALL?**_

_**JAZ: No! **_

_**EM: Silence, traitor.**_

_**JAZ: B-but!**_

_**ME: Nope, we're not talking to you!**_

_**JAZ: I've proably not heard of a Dusk Ball because you use them in, like... Pal Park or something!**_

_**EM: Can you even catch a Pokemon?**_

_**JAZ: Ye-**_

_**ME: Do I need to write you a guide?**_

_**JAZ: N-**_

_**EM: Thats a good idea, Georgie!**_

_**JAZ: ...stfu.**_

_**And... the result? CATCHING POKEMON FOR DUMMIES!**_

_**/**_

"When catching a Pokemon, you must be persistant, tactical, have the right type of ball, and a good amount of potions.

So, you've just picked Tepig, Snivy or Oshawatt, kicked you're rival's ten-year-old ass even though you have the disadvantage, and you've left home after having to endure a lecture from your mom, (because your dad is nowhere to be seen unless you're on Ruby, Saphire or Emerald,) about how to walk faster in these new-fangled 'running shoes' by pressing and holding 'b,' resulting in your controlly thumb all hurty.

Starter Pokemon ready, level 5 and full health, you walk into the grass slightly beyond the border of your town when-

_Dun dun dun dun! Dun dun dun dun! Duuu-nn, doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo~_

A level 2 Pidove has appeared! Well, it's the best you're going to get now, make the most of your simple-minded opportunities before something bad happens.

"Go, Tepig!" You shout, for no reason, reaching into your bag for a Pokeball and throwing it onto the battle space as a small Pokemon jumps out, and makes a weird noise that people like to loop when they find out the PokeDex can do that.

Now, we will be tactical and persistant. By using the one move that the game has given you that is of any use, tackle your way to victory and use the potion you found on your PC if needed. When you've lost the will to live, there is a high chance that the Pidove's health will be red now. If not, hang on a little longer. If so, then press 'bag' on your touch screen and find the bag compartment (hopefully) entitled 'PokeBalls.' Press the button, and hey presto! You've got yourself onto the PokeBall selection screen! You have some balls, right? POKEBalls. Come on, don't be immature.

Press the button and watch as the tiny red and white sphere is lobbed quite viciously at the dying young bird Pokemon.

It will wobble a few times. If it comes out, (GUYS, STOP BEING IMMATURE!) then tackle it a bit more, but don't kill it and try again. It will wobble, and you feel a strange joy overcome you as you claim your new addition to your team!

Now, go back to your mom and 'rest up.'

Repeat the process until you have 5-6 Pokemon.

As you progress in the game, new PokeBalls will be availible to buy at the shop and you can use them on specific types of Pokemon, cool as hell or what?"

The man on the TV shouted, this 'MC' someone or other was refusing to shut up. "MOM!" White shouted downstairs to her mom, who was just standing there, same as always. "Yeah?" "The TV's crap!" "What do you mean, your father bought it for y-" "Yeah, yeah, my exsistent father, I KNOW! I mean there's nothing GOOD on! Cheren and Bianca's asleep 'cosa it!" "And you want me to do what about it?"

"Oh, I don't KNOW!" "Fine then." She got back to just standing there in the middle of the room. "Okay, I'll just look at what else is on." After scanning through a weather reporter that said the same thing over and over again and a couple of adds about the cities far away from her village, White found the channel that interveiwed people.

And the green-haired woman and her camera-man were interveiwing this ditzy girl who had just won a contest.

"Well, me and Fluffy were just FABULOUS today! That glitter powder we found made her just SPARKLE LIKE A PRETTY FLOWER!" Oh, great. This was SOO not White's... thing. "I LOVE THE CONTEST CHANNEL!" Bianca scremed in her place, guess she'd woken up. "Well. I don't."

_**==============================================================\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\**_

_**WOO! Amazing. Absolutely amazing. THANK YOU EM FOR HELPING ME WRITE THIS!**_

_**JAZ: I still don't know what a dusk ball is.**_

_**ME: What?**_

_**EM: What do you mean you don't know what one is?**_

_**JAZ: That just told me how to catch one! And then it was some sort of weird White thing...**_

_**EM: Well, Georgie, I thought it was educational and pretty.**_

_**ME: ...pretty?**_

_**EM: Yes!**_

_**JAZ: WTF IS A DUSK BALL?**_

_**ME: We'll tell you if you reveiw!**_

_**JAZ: But I don't have a FF!**_

_**EM: Looks like you don't get to know.**_

_**I LIKE REVEIWS THEY MAKE ME HAPPY :D**_


End file.
